When I was 9, my mother knitted me a small blanket, about the size of a baby’s. I lost her to cancer a year later, when I was 10. Since then, I have carried it with me everywhere.
I am 26 now and married. I still have the blanket and carry it with me in my purse. Recently, I mentioned it to my husband and some friends. They made fun of me and called me “immature.”
I got defensive and told them it was a reminder of my mother. My husband said I should keep a picture of her instead and throw the blanket away.
Abby, now I feel insecure and childish. Is a security blanket normal for someone my age, or should I just listen to my friends?
Mrs. Linus in Texas
Your question is not as unusual as you may think. It has appeared in my column before.
Considering the story behind the blanket, I understand why you are so attached to it. The connection to the mother you lost at such a tender age has everything to do with it.
Your husband and friends appear to have hides of “pure Corinthian leather.” Do whatever makes you comfortable and do not apologize for it.
My mother-in-law goes through my mail and any items on my desk at home. She used to do it in secret and would stop when she got caught. Now she does it in front of me, but never when my husband is around.
I don’t care why she’s doing it; I just want her to stop. How do I relay that to her without offending her?
Because you can’t bring yourself to tell your mother-in-law plainly that what she’s doing is rude and nosy, when she’s coming over, put your papers out of sight.