Dear Carolyn: My husband and I fight about food constantly. I grew up with fresh food. He grew up with chips and candy bars. I’m vegetarian but will cook meat for him, yet he believes he’s the one making all of the compromises. Oh, and our young kids are very aware of what’s on Daddy’s plate versus theirs. I’m sick and tired of him complaining about what I’m cooking, and the kids screaming for what’s on Daddy’s plate. Any suggestions?

Food Fight

How about a deal: You back off on the crap he eats, and he doesn’t eat it around the kids. That leaves the problem’s roots intact, but he sounds too far gone to accept reason, so surface will have to do. If you must settle for one goal, your kids’ relationship with food is the best one.

Dear Carolyn: A piece of chicken with some veggies can be a pretty healthy meal. I’m surprised you did not call her out for being a domineering, sanctimonious bully.

Anonymous 1

When the kids clamor for what’s on Daddy’s plate, it’s safe to conclude it’s not chicken and veggies, right?

Dear Carolyn: Wow, this could have been me. We finally resolved it this way: Mom cooks one menu for everyone. Anyone may refuse food, but no complaints allowed. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it and wait till the next meal. Dad can eat what he wants, in private, if he buys it for himself, or he can cook a square meal of his choosing at any time. It was a fair deal, and eventually he came around.

Anonymous 2

Sanity! Welcome to the table.