Random Evidence of a Cluttered Mind

The Tim Tebow train roars — or limps? — into town

 

Hot list

Today: Rivalries. With Miami hosting the Jets on Sunday in the teams’ 94th meeting, here are the Dolphins’ top five most-played opponents, including playoffs:

Opponent Games Miami record
Bills9656-39-1
Jets9344-48-1
Patriots9350-43
Colts7046-24
Raiders3616-19-1

Note: Our other major pro teams’ most-played opponents, including playoffs, entering this weekend: Marlins vs. Braves, 324 games (148-176); Heat vs. Knicks, 126 games (57-69); and Panthers vs. Capitals, 104 games (43-52-9) and Lightning, 104 games (55-39-10).

--GREG COTE


What South Florida sports fans are talking about:

1. DOLPHINS

Miami hosts nemesis Jets in season’s first division game: Tony Sparano and Yeremiah Bell return Sunday as Jets as the Dolphins aim to build on last week’s home-opening, 35-13 rout of Oakland in which Reggie Bush ran for 172 yards. Man, I have never seen Reggie look sharper or faster. On that one 65-yard TD run, he was flat-out Kar-DASH-ian!

2. HURRICANES

How did Canes weather Georgia Tech’s big ground attack? Writing this on Friday, I thought it an outrage and an insult that Tech was a 14-point favorite over the visiting Hurricanes in Saturday’s ACC game. Unless the Yellow Jackets ran for about 406 yards and won big, in which case I thought the point spread was about right.

3. HEAT

Defending NBA champions open training camp in six days: Tired of losing, South Florida? Yonder comes the cure. LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and those fellas are about to lace up the sneakers once more. I don’t wanna say the Heat will be great again, but there hasn’t even been one practice yet and already the team has clinched a playoff spot.

4. MARLINS

Beinfest rumors heat up as disappointing season winds down: Season enters its last two weeks with Miami fighting Mets to avoid last place in the division. Meantime, owner Jeffrey Loria said a report that president of baseball operations Larry Beinfest would be replaced was “ridiculous.” Unfortunately for Larry, that isn’t quite the same as calling it untrue.

5. NHL

What NHL? Lockout threatens to erase season for Panthers, NHL: Training camps should have opened this weekend. Instead, the two sides are stalemated. Idea: In the spirit of the sport, we settle this by getting one owner rep and one player rep on the ice. They drop gloves, fists fly, loser’s side concedes. Give it about 30 seconds and we’ll have hockey!

gcote@miamiherald.com

On behalf of the city of Miami and South Florida at large I would like to personally welcome to town a special, honored guest, Mr. Timothy Richard Tebow, former Gator, famous virgin, devout Christian, inventor of Tebowing, future politician and innocent tormentor of Mark Sanchez.

Welcome, Tim!

I’d also like to announce that Tebow has now become the NFL’s all-time career leader in APPA: Attention Per Pass Attempt.

(Man, they keep stats on everything now, don’t they?)

Tebow currently plays, or rather doesn’t play much, for the Jets. Entering the third game of the season Sunday, he has thrown zero passes and had six carries, much to the consternation of an infatuated New York media eager to fan the dying flame of Tebowmania.

A year ago, Tebowmania was a bona fide phenomenon, organic, justified. He led six fourth-quarter comebacks for Denver.

Now Tebowmania has become a fraud or at least a fading memory. And yet there he is on the cover of GQ’s football preview issue. There he is with his own dedicated page on NFL.com. There he is in the current Vogue, shirtless and pushing a giant 6-foot tire.

It isn’t so much that Tebowmania has expired as that coach Rex Ryan and henchman Tony Sparano have conspired, apparently, to kill it. Men have been tried for lesser crimes.

Jets fans and Dolfans, can we join together as one in a massive “We Want Tebow!” chant?

On Sunday, surely it would be the Lord’s will.

• A fan disgruntled by years of bad Dolphins teams and poor decision-making confronted team general manager Jeff Ireland and said Ireland should fire himself. A stunned Ireland in turn muttered that the man was an “a--hole.” At least that’s what it sounded like he said to me.

• The NFL will have between two and four unbeaten teams left after Sunday, the fewest ever at this point. The 1972 Dolphins just set a team record for Earliest Date, Champagne On Ice.

• Asked this week about allegations of his being a temperamental, dirty player, Dolphins guard Richie Incognito denied the claims, then punted the inquiring reporter into the practice-field bleachers.

• The Cowboys are marketing eyeglass cleaners called “Jerry Wipes,” named for owner Jerry Jones. Based on Dallas’ recent fortunes and last week, hopefully the wipes can also be used on tears.

• Answer: Vince Young is broke after squandering $26 million. Question: Who fails to crack the top 1 million of people I feel sorry for?

After Blue Jay Yunel Escobar was suspended for an antigay slur, Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen called it a cultural thing and said he jokingly calls his sons that word all the time: “For us it’s like, ‘What’s up?’” Ever notice that Ozzie Being Ozzie isn’t nearly as charming when you’re in last place?

• Marlins presented retiring Brave Chipper Jones with a fly-fishing kit in a ceremony before his final game in Miami this week. Man, how tiny must those hooks be to catch flies like that!?

• The Reds and Nationals were the first two teams to clinch playoff berths. So the Bible was right, then. The meek are inheriting the Earth.

• FAU played Saturday at No. 1 Alabama (no, seriously), after Owls defensive end Cory Henry boasted the Crimson Tide “can be beat.” A fitting retort from Bama might have been, “We put on our pants one leg at a time just like FAU. Then, once in those pants, we go out and beat them by 58 points.”

• FIU on Saturday played host to No. 20 Louisville, led by quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, the former Hurricanes commitment. If the game went like I think it did, FIU is sorry that Teddy ever left UM.

• Atlantic Coast Conference officials welcomed Notre Dame, saying they love the school’s proud tradition almost as much as they love the anticipated goose in revenue sharing.

• Stanley C. Panther was laid off because of the NHL lockout. Is there any sight sadder than a fully costumed mascot at an intersection washing windshields?

• For a third consecutive year, an IndyCar driver named Will Power lost a season title that seemed to be his. Suggested new name for Will Power: Jess Mist.

•  Manny Pacquaio said he’d take a cut in revenue if Floyd Mayweather Jr. agreed to fight. (Dear Floyd: Your excuses are running out fast.)

• Somebody told me the early leader in NASCAR’s Chase for the Cup is “ Brad Keselowski.” Could someone please wake me when someone I’ve heard of takes over?

• A minor-league hockey team in Bakersfield, Calif., has offered a contract to Justin Bieber. Who even knew a minor-league hockey team could be owned by a 12-year-old girl?

•  Charles Barkley said, of Tiger Woods, “I wish I could put some of my blackness in him.” Tiger was too kind to reply, of Charles, “I wish I could put some of my politeness in him.”

• I just Googled the word “disingenuous” and up popped Dwight Howard’s full-page ad in the Orlando Sentinel thanking the same Magic fans he maneuvered to leave stranded.

•  Parting thought: A 1.2-million-pound artificial underwater reef in the design of Stonehenge is planned just off Key Biscayne. The many fish whose avid interests include prehistoric archaeology are so excited.

Visit Greg’s Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com, watch video at YouTube/TheGregCote and follow on Twitter @gregcote.

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