Opinion

Arts and letters

Flashing Aaahnold: The original three-breasted mutant from ‘Total Recall’ speaks out

 

How do you go from Martian mutant hooker accosting Arnold Schwarzenegger to Miami journalist? Lycia Naff explains.

 

Lycia Naff: actor, journalist, flasher of Arnold Schwarzenegger in 'Total Recall,' the original.
Lycia Naff: actor, journalist, flasher of Arnold Schwarzenegger in 'Total Recall,' the original.

cfrank@MiamiHerald.com

The guy who invented the TV show Glee used to write for The Miami Herald. So did a future mayor of Dallas.

Even that woman who nabbed an Oscar and all but shoved her co-winner into the orchestra pit while interrupting his speech (search YouTube: Crazy Lady Steals the Oscars!!!) toiled in this newsroom. Interesting, creative people sometimes land here on their way to somewhere else.

And then there is Lycia Naff. She was already a fairly successful actor, an Emmy nominee who appeared on shows like Fame, Hardcastle and McCormick, The Equalizer and Return to Green Acres, when she joined the Herald newsroom, covering Davie and Cooper City. But her most memorable performance — memorable in the sense that if you saw it, you remember it — was as the three-breasted mutant hooker from Mars in the original Total Recall who flashes Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Naff — still an actor and a journalist, but no longer at the Herald — is back in the spotlight, fielding lots of interview requests, since the remake of Total Recall hit theaters this month. As in the original, the new three-breasted mutant hooker is generating the buzz, causing people to wonder what’s up with Naff. Seizing the moment, she has finally set up a Facebook page (“I have like two friends”) and is about to head to a Star Trek convention. (She played Ensign Sonya Gomez on Star Trek: The Next Generation). Alas, the attention may be short-lived. The remake bombed its first weekend in theaters.

We caught up with Naff (Twitter handle @lycianaff), who appears on TV commercials when she is not engaged in celebrity journalism. This is an edited interview:

Q) So how ’d you get the gig on Total Recall?

A) I had just done six months on Clan of the Cave Bear, as Daryl Hannah’s little sister. Paul Verhoeven, who was director of photography on the TV show and the director of Total Recall, knew that I could handle prosthetic work (the three breasts — all of them — were prosthetic). So he just gave the part to me. It didn’t register that I would have three prosthetic breasts that I would have to expose.

Q) What was it like working with Schwarzenegger?

A) At that particular point in his career, he was almost like a robot. He didn’t have a mind of his own. He only listened to what the director wanted him to do. He was 100 percent directed by Paul. He was a good listener. Other than that he was kind of empty. His pupils were the size of pins. I figured it was the steroids. And he had a reputation on the set as a philanderer.

Q) Y ou didn’t see him as a guy with a bright political future?

A) I didn’t see him as a guy with an acting career.

Q) Later, did you get a chance to vote for or against him?

A) Well, I had just arrived here in California when he was running for governor. The L.A. Times contacted me [for a story about his alleged philandering] I shared some information I had anonymously. It didn’t seem to hurt him….

Q) Your role in the film was rather brief. Is that a day’s work? A week’s work?

A) I was hired for a week. The last day of shooting, they gave me an option to go home early. I was dead at the time, shot in the back, squibbed with blood. All I would have done that day was lie face down in a pool of fake blood. So I left. They put my blonde wig on an extra and she did the scene.

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