For the last week, I found myself amazed and infuriated by the reaction to Slaughter’s article. It has ranged from criticism of her for being ridiculous enough to think anyone could ever have it all to praise for being upfront with the future generation of working parents.

Lori Gottlieb, the author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, writes in response: “How does a smart woman like Slaughter still believe in the childlike notion that people (of either gender) can have whatever they want whenever they want it?” Gottlieb thinks it’s obvious that choosing one option might impact the feasibility of another and wonders why it’s women who don’t get this. “Men don’t lose sleep over the fact that they have to make choices.”

I disagree. Men lose sleep over their choices, too. But for men, financial need for their income usually has a greater influence on their tolerance for sacrifices in their family lives. Men who are CEOs and world leaders usually don’t feel as guilty as women when their work demands turn them into absentee fathers.

It just sort of goes without saying that if Dwyane Wade, a single father, wants to be the most successful basketball player on the planet he needs to do job-related travel, practice long hours and spend extra time at the gym — so we pass over it without comment. For more women to be in the highest leadership positions, they have to also be allowed to be doing what it takes to be excellent without being made to feel guilty about it. As a society we just aren’t there yet.

Because women are having children later, they tend have made their ascent in their careers when their children become teens.

The next generation of parents, particularly the growing ranks of working moms, need to know that drive by parenting does not work with teenagers.

Raising teens requires parents to be at the top of their game. Teens test boundaries, cop attitudes and tune adults out. Someone has to guide them day in and day out. And if you are traveling and handling workplace crises most of the time, it’s not going to be you. I know women who have accepted that, handed the responsibility over and thrive in their careers. Others discover they don’t have the tolerance.

We need women like Lagarde to lead with charm while making radical economic reforms. We need women at the helm of Fortune 500 companies and on corporate boards to make buying and management decisions that improve the lives of female customers. And we certainly need women in top policy making positions who are more likely to push decisions that benefit families.

We need role models for young girls who should dream big. But we also need involved parents to guide the next generation into adulthood.

Slaughter believes we need policies and workplace changes for when, where and how work will be done. We already see some employers who get it and both offer and encourage flexibility to make the juggling easier. Still, most working parents are giving it all at work and home and finding maintaining balance is a struggle every day.

We need to do more as a nation to make family friendly policies a reality in more workplaces. We need to stop judging parents who re-evaluate their situation and make changes or mothers who want to make the necessary sacrifices to climb to the top.

We will never stop trying to have it all, but it’s OK to like what you have.

Workplace columnist Cindy Krischer Goodman is CEO of BalanceGal LLC, a provider of news and advice on how to balance work and life. Email her at balancegal@gmail.com or visit worklifebalancingact.com.