Rock of Ages (PG-13) Director Adam Shankman ( Hairspray) transplants the smash Broadway musical to the screen. Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough are the young lovers chasing dreams of stardom in 1987 Los Angeles. Bryan Cranston, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mary J. Blige and Paul Giamatti co-star. Also, Tom Cruise sings. He sings Def Leppard. Yes, please!
That’s My Boy (R) History has taught us not to get suckered by promising trailers for Adam Sandler movies. Still, the previews for this R-rated comedy about an irresponsible father (Sandler) reconciling with his estranged son (Andy Samberg) are undeniably funny — in a crude, lowbrow, thoroughly inappropriate way.
Yellow Submarine (G) The Beatles’ trippy 1968 animated feature returns to theaters, Blue Meanies and all.
True Blood (9 p.m. Sunday, HBO) The vampires are back! So are the werewolves! And now we’ve got a were-panther, too! You’d think that as we start season five, everybody would have figured out that Bon Temps, La., is kind of a sketchy place to visit. Maybe it’s all the befanged sex that keeps them coming back.
Dallas (9 p.m. Wednesday, TNT) The Ewings — the fightingest, fornicatingest and finaglingest family in Texas — are back to do for the new millennium what they did for the 1980s, whatever that was. A buncha hunky new cast members join Patrick Duffy, Linda Gray and Larry Hagman, none of whom look a day over 800.
Suits (10 p.m. Thursday, USA) Witty and intriguing, this comedy-drama about a brilliant college dropout with a photographic memory who has faked his way into a high-powered corporate law firm returns for a second season.
Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (8 p.m. Saturday, Lifetime) This remake of the dreadful 1980 not-quite-kiddie-porn film starring Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins as virginal teenagers marooned on a desert island should come with a sticker: WARNING! Everybody who saw the original put his or her eyes out! I’m not bothering to list the cast members of this one because as soon as it airs, their careers are officially over.
Let Miami Herald TV critic Glenn Garvin program your TiVo! Just click on his best bets for the week at www.tivo.com/guruguide.