My car was towed. It happens. A few more unfortunate situations later, and I was crying. It wasnt that I was feeling sorry for myself. I was just mad, and the tears wouldnt stop.
I didnt feel comfortable talking to a friend at the moment, so I grabbed my phone and called the Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organizations 24-hour hotline. I had saved the number (800-221-2141) on my phone when I was diagnosed in August, but I had never used the free service before. I should have.
Before, I would have just fixed the problem, and that was that. Tears were never an option, I told the woman named Lauren who answered my call.
The kind stranger, who survived breast cancer 12 years ago, gently turned my focus back on a plan of action. I needed to drink a glass of water. And commit to asking for help to cope with my fears.
You are not overreacting. Its completely normal for you to feel this way, Lauren said. Its going to be a difficult transition. You are going to need help.
Im extremely independent, so I dont like asking for help. I dont trust easily. And I have been extra fearful lately. The more afraid I am, the more I want to know. And this sometimes works against me.
My current fears have to do with Tamoxifen, the anti-tumor drug my oncologist has prescribed. I felt the need to read about other drugs and genetic variations that interfere with Tamoxifens power to neutralize estrogen, which can feed breast-cancer cells. It made me wish I was an expert in pharmacogenetics, the study of genetic variations that affect patients response to pharmaceuticals.
Human liver enzymes are supposed to metabolize Tamoxifen. Two enzymes (Cytochrome P2D6 and YP3A) are responsible for changing it into a chemical called Endoxifen. And for the drug to work, the enzymes have to do their job. Endoxifen is then supposed to bind to estrogen receptors to prevent or slow the growth of breast cancer cells.
A few years ago the American Society of Clinical Oncology and the Food and Drug Administrations Clinical Pharmacology Subcommittee attributed Tamoxifens failure in some patients to a genetic variation (of the CYP2D6 gene), and deemed it an important predictor of the drugs efficacy. Some doctors were requesting genetic testing before prescribing the drug.
In 2010, however, researchers presented data from two clinical trials at the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium that showed women who had the genetic variation were not
more likely to have a recurrence. Soon after, an editorial in the Journal of Clinical Oncology said that there was a hesitancy and uncertainty about (CYP2D6) genetic testing in clinical practice. My oncologist did not prescribe the test. And that seems to be in line with current research.
Drug interactions can also affect the way Tamoxifen is metabolized, and when I learned that two medications I was taking for depression and anxiety, Buproprion and Escitalopram, were on a red list as having high and moderate impact on the efficacy of Tamoxifen, I did something foolish: I abruptly stopped taking them without discussing it with my doctors. It was a mistake on both counts patients are almost always taken off these drugs gradually and probably explained my crying episode.
When I talked it over with the doctor who had prescribed the antidepressants, M. Beatriz Currier, the director of the Courtelis Center
for Psychosocial Oncology at the University of Miami, she told me my worries were overblown.
When co-prescription of Tamoxifen with an antidepressant is necessary, preference is given to antidepressants that exhibit little or no impact on Tamoxifens metabolism, Currier said.
You have to trust us. We are familiar with drug interactions. We can look at all of the studies and make an educated decision that is medically appropriate.
My low level of trust and high level of fear were proving to be a bad combination. Its good to be an educated patient, but its bad to not communicate well with your doctors.
There were many things that needed to change before the cancer, Currier told me. Now is the time to change them.
She suggested that I commit to weekly sessions with a psychologist at the Courtelis Center. I will also be calling The Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organizations hotline again. MY JOURNEY
Part 1: At age 33, Im dealing with breast cancer
Part 2: Cancer treatment complicates dreams of pregnancy
Part 3: Hanging in when chemotherapy gets rough
Part 4: Tough surgery choices: Mastectomy vs. Lumpectomy
Part 5: Silicone implans are not the only way to go in breast reconstruction
Part 6: Rebuilding the breast from body tissue
Part 7: Body fat can be used to build breast
Part 8: Facing my fears after mastectomy
Part 9: Taking control of the fear that comes with breast cancer
Part 10: Doctor knows about being a breast cancer survivor
Part 11: Radiation therapy gives her hope
Part 12: Finding strength from others
Part 13: Facebook, medication help breast cancer patient deal with depression
Part 14: A new outlook on 2012
Part 15: Breast cancer patient faces genetic mystery
Part 16: Using diversion to cope with harsh reality
Part 17: After radiation therapy ends
Part 18: Friends breast cancer journey is not as fortunate
Part 19: Anti-tumor meds come with scary story
Part 20: Reentry into the world after breast cancer treatment From the Editor
: Journalist confronts cancer, takes readers along