When I was your age . . .”

Admit it. We’ve all said it to someone younger. It assumes a certain common experience. I remember being excited and nervous about going away to college — a transition shared by many.

Those facing their 18th birthday in foster care have a very different experience. These children, because that’s really what they are, face their 18th birthday with the knowledge that on that day they will be on their own.

As the new executive director of Casa Valentina, and a former supervising attorney for the Guardian Ad Litem Program, I have seen the disparity in my experience and that of these youth. Casa Valentina’s mission is to help youth transition successfully from foster care to independence. We do this by providing housing and comprehensive support services to former foster youth.

Instead of a family party with good- natured jokes about being all grown up, imagine your 18th birthday is greeted with goodbyes, a check and maybe a place to stay. Children “aging out” of foster care face this reality. If they’re able to qualify for the Road to Independence Program, the state does provide some financial assistance to these young people. The idea is that this money will help them as they progress through college or complete a training program that will provide skills for employment.

The reality is that most of them have never actually paid any bills or cooked or filled out a job application. Too few are going to college, and egregiously too many are still struggling to make their way through high school. They are ill-equipped to do what is asked of them — to go out into the world and take care of themselves. Handing an 18-year-old a check for $892 when they have never had any experience managing money is a recipe for failure. They are set up to fail, and then often blamed for failing.

Youth should be required to demonstrate responsible behavior and be held accountable in some way when they don’t, but we should acknowledge that we ask more of these youth than we did at their age and far more than our own children do at their age. Children raised in supportive families have the privilege of being able to make a mistake. Spending too much money one month, or even two, doesn’t mean you’ll end up homeless or hungry.

For those youth who recognize that they need help there is Casa Valentina. What started as the dream of a small group of women and hundreds of individual “visionaries” in the community, is now celebrating its fifth birthday. Casa Valentina began as a program for young women, and now serves young men and young mothers. We teach them the necessary life skills and provide the academic and emotional support to help them achieve their goals.

Over the past five years, 96 percent of our residents have been enrolled in school vs. 50 percent of all former foster youth in Miami-Dade County. Sixty-eight percent have earned a high school diploma or GED compared to the 39 percent rate achieved by their peers. We recently celebrated three high school graduations, and another resident received an associate degree and transferred into Florida International University.

Our work is made possible by the financial support we receive from the many individuals and organizations that believe that the work we do is important. It’s these people who recognize that these youth need a safe place to transition from children to young adults. Visit our website at www.casavalentina.org to learn more about Casa Valentina and how you can support us.

Casa Valentina is a place where when you have a birthday, we have a party. If you are in the hospital, we visit. If you’re willing to work, we’re willing to help.

Why is Casa Valentina successful? I looked to our logo and realized it holds the key. It’s not just the home, it’s the heart.

Khamisi M. Grace, a lawyer, is executive director of Casa Valentina.