Suggested by Larry Martell of Santa Fe, N.M., and Scott GrantSmith of San Diego, Calif.

It’s a known historical fact that the sandwich was invented in 1772 by the Earl of Sandwich, and the can was invented in 1802 by Sir Harvey Can. So both of these inventions have been around for more than two centuries, yet, for some reason, nobody ever thought to combine them — until now. Now we have the Candwich, which combines the convenience and durability of a can with the tasty wholesome goodness of sandwich ingredients that have been stored for some time in a can.

The Candwich we purchased was a peanut-butter-and-jelly model. When we opened the can, we found a small foil packet of peanut butter, a packet of jelly, a plastic knife for spreading, and a wrapper containing a bun that, according to the Candwich manufacturer, is “made from a special military developed formulation.” Yum! We’re sure it tastes every bit as good as it sounds. Unfortunately, we did not get around to personally assembling and eating the Candwich, because of a sudden loss of appetite. But we’re sure this item would be a huge hit with anybody on your holiday gift list who has been trapped in a cave for three to four weeks without food or water. As the French say: “Bon appetit!” (Literally, “I’ll just have water, thanks.”)

Next gift: Dear Leader Tongue Scraper

DAVE BARRY 2011 GIFT GUIDE

• Wine Rack
• Candwich — Sandwich in a Can
• Dear Leader Tongue Scraper
• Wrap-a-Nap
• Morphsuit
• Toad Purse
• The 'Phubby' Wrist Phone Cubby

• Game On Glove
• Christmas Stocking Full of Knives
• Cow and Horse Droppings
• Girlfriend Pillow
• Martha Stewart Animated Snake Wreath
• Back to Main Page