$19.95 plus shipping and handling from Bodyperks Inc., P.O. Box 652, Wayzata, Minn. 55391; www.bodyperks.com Suggested by Jeff Meyerson of Brooklyn, N.Y.
This is the perfect gift for the gal on your holiday gift list who would like to appear perkier in the gazombular region. Body Perks are little silicone dealies that go on top of a womans natural nipples so as to give her frontal zone that cold-weather, smuggling-raisins look that for thousands of years has caused men to walk into utility poles. Why are men so interested in womens nipples? Why arent women equally interested in mens nipples? Why do men even have
nipples? We at the Holiday Gift Guide do not have answers to these questions. We just enjoy saying "nipples." Nipples nipples nipples. Is it getting warm in here?Next gift: Emergency Brassiere Face Mask
DAVE BARRY 2010 GIFT GUIDE