$19.99 plus shipping and handling from Kotula’s, 1850 Banks Rd., Fort Mill, S.C. 29715, 800-685-4845; www.kotulas.com

Here’s the perfect gift for the balding man on your holiday list who wants to keep the sun out of his eyes while at the same time appearing to have developed some kind of giant carnivorous scalp fungus. This is a sun visor that, instead of being open on the top, has been fitted with a swatch of what appears to be shag carpeting from a motel room that has not been cleaned since 1987. You simply put this item on your head, and suddenly, instead of looking like an ordinary bald guy, you look like a bald guy who does not own a mirror. The "Flair Hair" visor comes in a variety of hair shades, none of them human. This is the only hair visor endorsed by Mr. Donald Trump.

Next gift: The Maniki Butt Bra for Men

DAVE BARRY 2010 GIFT GUIDE

• The "Flair Hair" Visor
• The Maniki Butt Bra for Men
• The Better Marriage Anti-Flatulence Blanket
• "Rear Gear" Pet Coverup
• BARK4BEER Dog-Collar Bottle Opener
• Gadget Holster
• Camouflage Toilet Seat

• Body Perks Brand Nipple Enhancers
• Emergency Brassiere Face Mask
• The Pillow Tie
• Electric Drums T-Shirt
• Remote-controlled Shocking Tanks
• Hand-Crank Siren
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