The Better Marriage Anti-Flatulence Blanket

 
BOB EIGHMIE / FOR THE HERALD

$29.95 - $59.95 plus shipping and handling from The Better Marriage Blanket; www.bettermarriageblanket.com

Note: As of the Gift Guide publication date, this item is out of stock.

Suggested by Brian Duval of Gladstone, N.J.

The Better Marriage Blanket is designed to improve marital bliss by absorbing odors emitted by a sleeping married person (it also works for sleeping unmarried persons). According to the official website, the Better Marriage Blanket "contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons." That’s right: We’re talking about a military-grade defense against nighttime tooting. How does it work? Scientifically, that’s how: "The molecules that cause the odor are absorbed and neutralized in millions of microscopic pores in the activated carbon so it has an almost unlimited capacity for eliminating odor."

If you don’t think this would be an appropriate gift for the holidays, consider this: The website states that it "makes a great wedding or anniversary gift too." We imagine it would also be a huge hit on Valentine’s Day. In fact, it’s the perfect gift to give any time you wish to express the heartfelt sentiment, "You tend to cut the cheese in your sleep."

Next gift: "Rear Gear" Pet Coverup

DAVE BARRY 2010 GIFT GUIDE

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald

  • PET MONUMENT

    It's a difficult question that every pet owner must face, sooner or later: How do we memorialize our beloved animal companions after they have gone to that big Pet Supermarket in the sky?

  • CHICKEN DIAPERS

    Why does your chicken need a diaper?

  • CAT LADY ACTION FIGURE

    $11.09 (price may vary) plus shipping and handling from amazon.com

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category