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Do you have any musical people on your holiday gift list? We’re talking about the kind of people who are always humming, whistling, or drumming on their desks, to the point where their co-workers want to beat them to death with their office chairs.

This is the ideal gift for those people. It’s a T-shirt that has been fitted with batteries, wires and other electronic items that magically transform it from an ordinary garment into a garment that is really uncomfortable. But also when you hit certain parts of it just right, it makes noises that sound vaguely like really bad recordings of what could conceivably be drums. We’re talking about hours of entertainment, assuming the person being entertained has an unusually small brain. Otherwise we’re talking about maybe 15 seconds of entertainment.

This is the only drum T-shirt recommended by leading musicians such as the late Ray Charles.

Next gift: Remote-controlled Shocking Tanks

DAVE BARRY 2010 GIFT GUIDE

• The "Flair Hair" Visor
• The Maniki Butt Bra for Men
• The Better Marriage Anti-Flatulence Blanket
• "Rear Gear" Pet Coverup
• BARK4BEER Dog-Collar Bottle Opener
• Gadget Holster
• Camouflage Toilet Seat

• Body Perks Brand Nipple Enhancers
• Emergency Brassiere Face Mask
• The Pillow Tie
• Electric Drums T-Shirt
• Remote-controlled Shocking Tanks
• Hand-Crank Siren
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