Does your 4-year-old son dress up in his big sister's tiaras and princess costumes?

Does your 3-year-old daughter swap Barbies for Tonka Trucks?

With celebrity gossip sites buzzing over Angelina Jolie's comment that her 4-year-old daughter, Shiloh, wants to be a boy, and even children's books and popular television shows beginning to tackle the issue, transgender children have taken the media spotlight.

``It's not so much that younger children are exhibiting this behavior,'' said Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida the state's largest rights group dedicated to equality to the Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual and Transgender community. ``It is something that has already existed. There is just more research and visibility.''

But with lots of new information out there, parents are left sifting through some contradictions.

``I think parents are very worried and confused and there isn't clear-cut advice,'' says Ellen Perrin, chief of developmental-behavioral pediatrics at the Floating Hospital for Children at Tufts Medical Center in Boston. ``It's a complex issue.''

Childhood gender behavior varies a lot, experts say, and there is a wide range of reasons a boy may want long hair (maybe he identifies with his favorite sports star) or a girl may refuse to wear dresses (perhaps they're just not her style).

If your son likes to wear his older sister's shoes from time to time but is generally happy in his own skin, doing well in school, and has normal social relations, you should not be concerned.

``If it's not broke, don't fix it,'' says Kim Pearson, executive director of TransYouth Family Alliance (TYFA), an advocacy group for transgender youths.

What's more challenging for parents is when a child consistently pursues a range of behaviors strongly associated with the opposite sex. A boy might play with Barbies, wear dresses and vehemently reject sports. A girl might insist on playing only with boys, prefer a boy's haircut and express strong discomfort with her body.

``If the child is consistent, persistent and acute . . . for three to five years . . . those are the children we would transition to make their life better,'' Pearson said. An example of social transitioning would be a change in the child's name, hair style and clothing to reflect the identified sex. Medical changes would never be considered before puberty.

``Usually by 3 years of age the child has an absolute inner-conviction that they know whether they are a boy or girl,'' said Dr. Jon Shaw, professor and director, child and adolescent psychiatry, University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

There is a difference between gender and sexuality -- sexual orientation isn't usually manifested until later in development.

Therapists differ dramatically in their approach to these children, with some taking the relatively new approach of supporting kids who want to live openly as members of the opposite sex. Others encourage kids to discard their more pronounced behaviors, explore new interests and embrace their birth gender.

Many therapists take the middle ground of, say, accepting a very determined boy's desire to wear dresses and saying it's fine for him to do so at home, but strongly encouraging him to refrain from that behavior in school, where he might encounter unpleasant responses.

``I think the general trend has been to take more of a stance of tolerance toward the behavior instead of the old type of stance where they would yell at (these boys), criticize them, punish them for any sort of girlish behavior and send them off to military schools,'' says Gregory Lehne, an assistant professor of medical psychology at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. ``That didn't work particularly well.''