'Firm Grip' Brand Butt Glue

 
 
'Firm Grip' Brand Butt Glue
'Firm Grip' Brand Butt Glue
BOB EIGHMIE / BOB EIGHMIE

$17.99 plus shipping and handling from The Queen's Choice, 2059 Listravia Ave., Morgantown, W. Va. 26505, 304-296-3294, www.queenschoice.com

Suggested by Matt Filar

of Arcata, Calif.

If you have ever competed in the swimsuit-competition portion of a beauty pageant, then you know how annoying it can be when a sector of your swimsuit disappears into a bodily crevice, which is a mandatory 10-point deduction. For years, the only way to prevent this problem was a painful procedure involving staples.

But now there is a better way: ''Firm Grip'' spray-on buttocks adhesive. This is the same professional-grade buttocks adhesive used by all of your top beauty-pageant contestants, as well as 65 percent of the players in the National Football League. (Trust us: You do NOT want to know.)

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald

  • PET MONUMENT

    It's a difficult question that every pet owner must face, sooner or later: How do we memorialize our beloved animal companions after they have gone to that big Pet Supermarket in the sky?

  • CHICKEN DIAPERS

    Why does your chicken need a diaper?

  • CAT LADY ACTION FIGURE

    $11.09 (price may vary) plus shipping and handling from amazon.com

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category