$218 for trailer hitch and one chair from CSN Stores Inc., 800 Boylston Street, Suite 1600, Boston, Mass. 02199, 800-593-5251; http://www.csnstores.com/ Hammaka-3004-HMKA-YT1009.html

Here is the ultimate gift for the sports fan or complete raving lunatic, not that there is any great difference. This is a hammock-style chair that is suspended from the trailer hitch of a vehicle. So when you're tailgating at a sporting event, instead of having to sit on a regular boring chair placed on the ground, you can dangle from the back of your vehicle, making you the envy of all the other tailgaters, especially if they have been hitting the Bloody Marys since dawn. In fact, we see no reason, other than local, state and federal law, why you shouldn't just stay in your Tailgater chair and let somebody else drive you home, while you dangle in luxury. If the police stop your vehicle, just show them this newspaper article. You will surely get a reaction.

››Hand Soap

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald


    You've probably seen the TV commercials for Perfect Polly, the battery-operated pretend parakeet manufactured in China from genuine plastic.


    These are special glasses that use an amazing scientific principle — possibly photosynthesis — to bend light beams at a 90-degree angle. This means that when you put these glasses on, instead of seeing what's in front of you, you're actually looking straight down.


    If you are not putting a brassiere on your hen (or self-mutilating parrot) (which would be a good name for a rock band) you could very well be contributing to its DEATH.

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