Tattoo Sleeves


$11.88 per pair, plus shipping and handling, from PrankPlace.com, LLC., 206 Murphy Road, Hartford, Conn. 06114, 800-901-1163; www.prankplace.com/ tattoo.htm

Suggested by Stephanie Pluess of London, U.K.

Not long ago, people with tattoos were considered to be low-class sleazeballs. But today, millions of Americans have tattoos. What does this tell us? It tells us that millions of Americans are low-class sleazeballs.

Just kidding! It tells us that tattoos are now considered ''body art'' and have become fashionable with people from all walks of life.

FACT: All nine U.S. Supreme Court justices have the Bill of Rights tattooed on their buttocks.

Perhaps you'd like to get a tattoo, but you've been holding back for some reason, such as that you're not drunk. Or you're worried that when you get old and saggy your tattoo will stretch, so instead of having, say, an arty little butterfly on your shoulder, it will look like you're being attacked by a giant mutant bat.

That's why you need Tattoo Sleeves. These are sleeves that make you look as though you have tattoos all over your arms. Think of the pranks you can play! Like, say you're a non-tattooed college student with strict parents. Imagine how they'll react when you take off your jacket and they see your tattoo sleeves. They'll react by having coronary failure. So make sure your tuition is paid in advance.

Tattoo sleeves fit everyone. They cannot, however, be removed. (Ha ha!)

››Seasoned Shot

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald


    You've probably seen the TV commercials for Perfect Polly, the battery-operated pretend parakeet manufactured in China from genuine plastic.


    These are special glasses that use an amazing scientific principle — possibly photosynthesis — to bend light beams at a 90-degree angle. This means that when you put these glasses on, instead of seeing what's in front of you, you're actually looking straight down.


    If you are not putting a brassiere on your hen (or self-mutilating parrot) (which would be a good name for a rock band) you could very well be contributing to its DEATH.

Miami Herald

Join the

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category