Sometimes, it does help for a parent to push a little -- if it's for the right reasons.

When Rebecca Noble started her freshman year at Ransom Everglades School in Coconut Grove, her mother insisted she sign up for Symphonettes, a service group.

"I did not want to be in Symphonettes. I hated the idea, " says Rebecca, who graduated from Ransom in May. But she changed her mind.

"I ended up writing my college essay on it, " she says. "I loved it."

Rebecca's mom, Georgia Noble, says she encouraged her daughter to explore different interests, hoping Rebecca would find something she liked. (She did -- her passion became theater.) But Noble also wanted her daughter to volunteer to develop a sense of philanthropy.

GETTING INTO COLLEGE

Steve Frappier, Ransom's director of college counseling, says the biggest college admissions myth is that nobody -- no matter how smart or well-rounded -- is getting into college.

It's true that elite colleges are ultra-competitive. (Last year, Harvard had 22,754 applications, but accepted only 2,109.) But the majority of college-bound students get into their top choices.

Four-year colleges and universities accept 70 percent of their applicants, according to the National Association for College Admission Counseling. Two-thirds of students get into their first choice.

"Things are getting more selective, so students apply to more places, " Frappier says.

His advice: Look for a college that suits your child.

Adds Lancelotta, the psychologist: "Parents have to ask, What do I buy into? Do I buy into that my kid has no chance because he has a 3.0 and his test scores are only an 1100, or are we going to say everybody has strengths and weaknesses and there are thousands of colleges out there and it may not be their first choice but they're going to get into some place?"