DAVE BARRY ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE

Disguised Nasal-Hair Trimming Finger

 

$9.98 plus shipping and handling from Harriet Carter, Dept. 36, North Wales, Pa. 19455, 800-377-7878; www.harrietcarter.com

Suggested by Judy Brown of Jamesville, N.Y. and Andrea Higgins of Mount Pocono, Pa.

No doubt you have noted that many men go around with unsightly hair sprouting from their ears and nostrils, to the point where they look as though they have tropical caterpillars emerging from their facial orifices. You wonder: Why don't these men trim this hair?

The answer is fear of embarrassment. These men are afraid that somebody might see them trimming their ear and nose hair, and think they are vain and unmanly. That's why we're so excited about this gift concept, which is a motorized battery-powered trimmer cleverly disguised to look exactly like a human finger taken from a really large human. A man can use this device anywhere without worrying that people will think he is trimming hair. They will simply think he is sticking a finger into his nose, which is a perfectly normal thing that men do all the time. The only problem is that this finger will be buzzing, so to deflect suspicion, we recommend that men hum loudly while using this device. Is anybody still reading this? No? Good.

NEXT | The Birds-Away Attack Spider

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide - 2006 stories from the Miami Herald

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<b>ON DASHER, ON DANCER?</b> Santa Claus is coming to town in style on the <a href="16097686.htm">Cruzin Cooler.</a>

    DAVE BARRY'S ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE

    What's behind Santa's Ho-Ho-Ho

    Holiday gift-giving is a tradition that dates back roughly 2,006 years, to when the Three Wise Men went to Bethlehem with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh for the Baby Jesus. Of course the next day the Virgin Mary returned these items for store credit, because she was a low-income mother with a newborn, and as the old saying goes, ''You can't diaper a baby with frankincense.''

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