DAVE BARRY ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE

Custom-Printed Toilet paper

 

$12 per roll (minimum of 4) and up, from Carlberg Design, Inc., 1215 E. Clary St., Petersburg, Ill. 62675, 866-337-4441 (fax 217-632-0124);

www.printedtp.com

Suggested by Gary Usleaman of Cincinnati, Ohio.

Whether you like it or not, your toilet paper makes a statement about you. If you purchase ordinary supermarket toilet paper, it is making the statement that you don't care if you or your guests have a commode experience that lacks individuality and -- yes -- class.

This is why more and more celebrity entertainers such as Martha Stewart and the late Duke of Windsor have their toilet paper custom-printed. And now, thanks to the Internet, you can do the same thing. Here at the Gift Guide we ordered a set of rolls imprinted with a photograph of multitalented international superstar Paris Hilton, and we can state in all honesty that we have not been contacted by her attorney so far that we are aware of. And if that is not the true meaning of the holiday season, we don't know what is.

NEXT | Butthead Game

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide - 2006 stories from the Miami Herald

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<b>ON DASHER, ON DANCER?</b> Santa Claus is coming to town in style on the <a href="16097686.htm">Cruzin Cooler.</a>

    DAVE BARRY'S ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE

    What's behind Santa's Ho-Ho-Ho

    Holiday gift-giving is a tradition that dates back roughly 2,006 years, to when the Three Wise Men went to Bethlehem with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh for the Baby Jesus. Of course the next day the Virgin Mary returned these items for store credit, because she was a low-income mother with a newborn, and as the old saying goes, ''You can't diaper a baby with frankincense.''

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