''The anger is not going to go away, but Sean would have wanted us to forgive,'' said Johnson, 22, who went to high school in Fort Myers and has since split with her boyfriend, the father of her 9-month-old son. ``I am not a judge. I can't say that another life should be taken.''

Taylor's death motivated her to get a job as a guard at the Dade Correctional Institution. She describes the inmates as ''big children.'' Some of her fellow guards look up their criminal records, but Johnson doesn't.

''I don't want to know what they did,'' she said.

She was close to her big brother, ``who always made sure my hair was right and my room was clean.''

''He challenged us to achieve goals,'' she said as she cooked dinner at her mother's house. A picture of her son and Jackie was on the refrigerator. ``He's looking down on us, and he wouldn't want us to be depressed.''

As a safety at UM and with the Redskins, Taylor was celebrated for his intimidating persona and punishing tackles. He played a violent game and died a violent death. Yet those closest to him say Taylor was a gentle, shy man who loved nothing better than reading to his daughter, tending his yard or fishing. Greater than the satisfaction of NFL victories was the delight he took in helping his great-grandmother with chores, like mopping her floors or escorting her to the grocery store.

He was a homebody. He trimmed trees for his relatives, pressure-cleaned their roofs, without being asked. And he could relate to children on their wavelength. He went out of his way to sign autographs for kids, or give them his gloves, or even a $100 bill. Neighborhood kids invited him to their birthday parties, and he'd show up and play musical chairs or dance the hokey-pokey.

Taylor's image as an NFL player was altogether different. His first two seasons did not go smoothly. He skipped voluntary workout sessions with the Redskins, and his teammates, coaches and office personnel found him to be aloof and distant. Twice he spat at opponents. Back home, he was arrested after a fight over stolen ATVs, in which he was accused of waving a gun.

COMPETITIVENESS

''He was portrayed as rebellious, but he wasn't really that guy,'' Garcia said. 'A lot of it was him being competitive, proving himself. When he went on the field, his mentality was, `I'm a beast.' When Beyoncé goes on stage, she assumes a character. When I played soccer, I was very aggressive, but I'm not an aggressive person.''

What was remarked upon most when Taylor died was how he had matured and warmed up. The arrest scared him. His daughter softened him. Long talks with defensive coordinator Gregg Williams steadied him. His teammates voted him onto the leadership council that met with coach Joe Gibbs. He joined a Bible study group. He became one of the most popular players in the locker room and among fans.

Moss said Taylor could ``practically decapitate an opponent on the field, then off the field, tell friends how he loved them.''

Said Garcia: ``With Sean, it was a matter of trust. It took him awhile to open up. But when he did, he opened wide, and you could see how huge his heart was.''

Buck Ortega first met Taylor at Gulliver Prep, where they played on the football team. As their friendship grew, they went fishing and spear fishing together. They were roommates at UM and teammates in Washington.

''Like me, he was a quiet person, happy keeping to himself,'' said Ortega, who now plays for the Saints. ``He got the bad rap -- he was arrogant, he was a thug. That was not Sean. I saw how much he cared about the people he loved.''

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