''I talk with more passion now, and I put more emphasis on love,'' Pete Taylor said. ``I miss Sean so much. I miss him telling me to come to the racquetball court so he can beat me one more time. If you believe, you can feel his spirit.''

PERVASIVE EMPTINESS

But the emptiness is hard to fill. Garcia has re-enrolled at the University of Miami and expects to graduate in May with a liberal arts degree. She has hopes of patenting a baby bottle invention or starting her own business, maybe a spa. Her daughter is in preschool. They live on a quiet street in Coral Gables and go to the park every afternoon.

The little girl will be provided for. Taylor died without a will, but as Taylor's sole heir, his daughter receives what remains of the $5.3 million in his estate after debts are paid. The IRS has collected $2.1 million for back taxes. The Redskins contributed $500,000 to the estate trust and have pledged any profits from sales of Taylor merchandise. Proceeds from an online auction of Taylor's vehicles -- four cars, three ATVs and a boat he used only once -- will go into the trust.

''Jackie doesn't really know that her dad has passed away,'' Garcia said. ``Children don't understand the meaning or purpose of death. I try to fill her life with as much love as I can.''

Garcia, 25, sees a lot of Taylor in their daughter -- similar facial expressions, a competitive streak. Jackie likes to eat rice and brush her Dora doll's hair.

''I've got to be strong for her,'' Garcia said. ``Everyone faces a downfall or obstacle. But I believe God has planned a whole life ahead of us. Sean would not have wanted our lives to stop. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. That takes me backward, and I've got to go forward.''

Garcia, Taylor and their 18-month-old daughter were asleep in the same bed when intruders burst into their room early on the morning of Nov. 26. Garcia hid herself and Jackie under the covers. Taylor grabbed the machete he kept under the bed. He was shot in the upper thigh.

Garcia tried to staunch the bleeding with a towel, but the bullet had severed his femoral artery.

''It was like rainfall,'' she said. 'I told Sean, `Hold on, you've been shot.' Jackie just sat on the bed. She knew something was wrong. I reacted on pure instinct. I felt relieved when the ambulance got there. But you don't realize how quickly someone can die.''

Taylor survived for 24 hours, but the blood loss was massive. He died at Jackson Memorial Hospital at 3:35 a.m. Nov. 27. Almost 4,000 people attended his funeral six days later.

''The fear from that night, I don't think it will ever delete,'' Garcia said. ``It's like a bad dream where you cannot move even though you want to.''

Taylor's family pushes ahead even as justice lags behind.

Five young men from the Fort Myers area who investigators say bungled a break-in and wound up killing Taylor are in jail. One has already pleaded guilty to second-degree murder. The others await trial and the possibility of life in prison.

After fleeing Taylor's house, they drove west on Alligator Alley, stopped to put the gun they used in a sock and flung it into the Everglades muck. Later they burned their clothing and masks.

''They might have thought it was a game,'' Pete Taylor said. ``It wasn't. It was a life.''

It was Taylor's generosity that caused his death. Weeks earlier, he had hosted a birthday party for half-sister Sasha Johnson during which she and Taylor's half-brother Jamal flashed the $10,000 in cash he had given each of them in gift bags. Johnson took pictures of the money. One of the guests was Jason Scott Mitchell, a friend of Johnson's boyfriend from Fort Myers. Mitchell was also paid $300 by Taylor during his visit for helping Taylor mow the lawn and clean up the pool deck. Mitchell has been charged in Taylor's death, as has the uncle of Johnson's boyfriend.

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