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• SCENE IN THE TROPICS

  Note to Hulk: Not in front of the kids!

  Brooke Hogan celebrated the premiere of her new reality show Brooke Knows Best at Mansion on Saturday night with show co-stars Glenn Packard and Ashley Menendez. The party featured a performance by Hogan along with roommate Packard's burlesque troop, The Knockouts. Also there, Hogan's dad Hulk, along with girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel, who, according to sources, ''is a spitting image of Brooke and was constantly being confused with Hulk's daughter as she made out with him all night.'' Ew. Hulk was...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Experts shed light on clubs gone dark

  When our forefathers named it Independence Day, we don't think they pulled a Nostradamus and predicted that it could possibly apply to the fact that Miami has, of late, freed itself of more than a handful of formerly hot night spots. Among those that have recently closed their doors for good: Suite/Snatch, Karu & Y, Oxygen, Cielo, and Dek 23. Not exactly encouraging news for the so-called nightlife capital of the country, if not the world. We decided to talk to those who shape the nightlife scene...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Clubland lights up as fireworks fade

  If you haven't felt sparks yet, just wait until tonight when everyone and their mother attempts to prove their pyrotechnic expertise. Happy July 4, folks. Enjoy it at your own risk. And while for some the party's over as soon as the fireworks finale fades from the sky, for many it continues the entire weekend.

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  You can find fun on Mystery Mondays

  Summer television is pretty abysmal -- in two words: Celebrity Circus. It would be one thing if Charles Nelson Reilly were still around or Wayland Flowers and Madame, but they're not, and we're sorry, Peter Brady on the high wire just doesn't cut it. Thankfully we have enough characters around here to keep us entertained and away from the dreck on the small screen. And while Celeb Circus airs on Wednesdays (not that we watch, we swear), Monday night TV blows, too. Thankfully we don't have to sit...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  It's time for cocktails and drag divas

  As summer slowly -- and we mean slowly -- creeps its way upon us, ambitious and eager locals do all they can to keep us entertained, if but for a night, or in the case of the first SoBe Fest, an entire weekend. From Friday through Sunday, Miami Beach will host the only gay weekend of the summer, with eight events being held at seven of the city's most colorful venues -- the Catalina, Score, Halo, Gem, Palace Bar, Dek23 and Twist. Each venue will have live DJ and performances by local, national and...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Jazid: Live -- and alive -- after 12 years

  Some people are impervious to certain things -- and luckily so, especially when there's a recession allegedly looming. Take Jazid, for instance, the live music landmark celebrating its 12th anniversary party this weekend. Pretty impressive in a town where trends and hot spots are as ephemeral as visiting A-listers. And Jazid has one up on many of those, because when stars come there, they usually jam out instead of zone out in some remote VIP room. A few months back, Prince played live with Locos...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  With snowbirds away, locals will play

  Just because hurricane season is two days away doesn't mean you have to batten down your social hatches and stay inside. Now's the time for us locals to take back our city and appreciate the things that throngs of tourists pay good money for. We recommend checking out Bella Rose, the new bar/lounge at 423 16th St. in Miami Beach, where one recent Friday night some of us, ahem, were just mesmerized by the video screens playing old-school Janet Jackson, Biggie Smalls, Snoop Dogg and even SWV. A purely...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Gonna be a memorable, hip-hoppin' time

  According to the theme song from Diff'rent Strokes, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. If you don't believe us, ask the thousands who will descend upon Miami and its beaches this weekend for the ninth annual Black Beach Week's Urban Beach Week for a celebration of bling, hip-hop, R&B and even soulful house. That's the theme of Afro Desia, a gathering Saturday at The Bar Next Door at Ouzos, 1766 Bay Rd., Miami Beach. From 8 p.m.-5 a.m., a slew of DJs including DJ Questone, Eric...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Japanese gardens and Polynesian pig roasts

  Once in a blue moon someone comes up with a really cool venue for a party that gets people excited about going -- Michael Capponi's birthday party at Jimbo's a few years back, Jeff Soffer's birthday party at the Opa-locka Executive Airport, this writer's Sweet 16 at a Marilyn Monroe-themed disco on Long Island. Well, OK, the latter was a good idea in the '80s, anyway. Add to that list, Tigertail Productions' Moon Over Miami fund-raising event Saturday at the Ichimura Japanese Garden, on Watson Island...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  It's getting hot, hot, hot again in clubland

  The hot mess known as summer is upon us, but don't worry. Sweat is the new black and we'll all be sporting plenty of it in the coming months. Luckily there's the Gansevoort's rooftop Plunge Bar, where ocean breezes mix with the haughty airs of those who think their sweat doesn't stink to create a bizarre cooling effect. Tonight, 944 Magazine celebrates its first anniversary there with Macy Gray as the host, headliner and DJ. According to publisher Alan Roth, the anniversary party, from 8-11 p.m...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Fab times for hard times in clubland

  Although some people are in denial about the state of the economy and continue to max out credit cards on thousand-dollar bottles of cheap vodka to prove they're doing just fine, clubland is undeniably feeling the pinch. One club owner who wanted to remain anonymous told us that if it weren't for corporate events, he'd be out of business. Said owner added that he's giving out more drink tickets because people who do want to be able to turn their lights on when they get home just aren't spending like...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Events that are good for your heart

  Despite murmurs of the dreaded recession, Miami is still rich with charity events such as the $500 per person Driven to Dine event on Saturday benefiting the Florida Heart Research Institute. Kicking off with a sunset cocktail at Don Shula's swanky Indian Creek home, Driven to Dine will take participants to an undisclosed restaurant for a heart-healthy multi-course meal. Participating restaurants include Atrio, Cacao, Capital Grille, Casa Casaurina, Escopazzo, Chef Allen's, Mancini's, Neomi's, Ortanique...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Gen Art's cool fashion show could be hot

  Although we're heading straight into the sweaty days of summer -- what happened to spring? -- and the notion of getting all dolled up in couture seems, well, oppressive, it's always fun to look and dream, isn't it? You can do both at Gen Art's Fresh Faces in Fashion 2008 Show at the spanking new Gansevoort South Hotel on Saturday, featuring seven designers showcasing their wares beginning at 8 p.m. with cocktails and an accessories showcase at the hotel's Pool Plaza, set to the tunes of DJ Marc Leventhal...

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  In clubland, it's all a matter of good taste

  We wanted to start this column with an April Fool's joke, but since that's too far away to think about -- well, Tuesday at least -- we decided to get serious instead and imagine a South Beach sans free vodka, rum, gin, absinthe, moonshine and, to make matters worse, a clubland devoid of special appearances by a cornucopia of D-list celebrities relying on these alcohol companies for a free trip to Miami Beach.

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  Looking good sounds particularly good now

  The convergence of fashion and music in Miami this week is almost as if Blender Magazine crashed into Lucky Magazine, in the same way that peanut butter landed into chocolate.

• VELVET UNDERGROUND

  The green party's taking over clubland

  With just a little more than a week until Winter Music Conference besieges us with its aural assault, there's no rest for the weary, especially for those who love to get jiggy with it on a Monday. And how convenient that Monday happens to be St. Patrick's Day. While Miami is hardly a hotbed of Celtic activity, there are enough Irish pubs in town to justify a party or 10. Even the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts is getting in on the green, inviting everyone to Get Your Sham Rock on at...